


Goodbye

by amethystviolist



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Gen, M/M, Not Happy, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-23
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 22:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11884050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amethystviolist/pseuds/amethystviolist
Summary: As the wars raging across Albion grow in violence, Arthur can no longer prevail without Emrys's help. But like all magic - as every Pendragon knows - this assistance comes with a price.And this time, the price may be too steep for Arthur to pay.





	Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to come fanflail about Merlin (and a great many other things) with me at amethystviolist.tumblr.com. 
> 
> This is for those who wanted me to write more Merlin stuff! Your support is incredibly meaningful, and so I've repaid you with... pain. Of course. Don't worry, I have some fluff and humor in the works as well! 
> 
> This is short, even for a one shot, sorry about that, but I like to think of it as a single cool scene plucked out of boring context (and trust me, it is boring, I wrote it out and it was lame). 
> 
> (Also if you read the notes on my last fic, be proud of me: this isn't being published at 2am!! Shocking!!!)
> 
> Please enjoy!

“There is a price to my help, Arthur Pendragon,” Emrys said firmly and clearly, though his voice and body were distorted and hidden by the magic fog swirling around him.

“Name it,” Arthur answered immediately. “Land, gold, titles… Whatever you desire will be yours if you help me.”

“My price is much dearer to you than that,” Emrys replied, and if Arthur didn’t know better, he’d say Emrys almost sounded regretful.

“What is your price?” Arthur asked cautiously. He thought he might have caught a glimpse of glowing gold eyes through the fog, but perhaps he just imagined it. The disembodied voice was silent for a long moment, until Emrys at last spoke a single, damning word.

“Merlin.”

“What?” Arthur exclaimed, utterly blindsided. He’d expected demands for magical artifacts, or an ominous request for a favor, or something else mysterious and threatening. Surely Emrys didn’t mean ‘Merlin’ as Arthur had interpreted it. Perhaps Merlin had suddenly appeared behind him! Yes. Merlin did that a lot-

Merlin was not standing behind Arthur, no sheepish expression on his servant’s face as the dolt admitted to following Arthur yet again. Arthur turned back to the churning mist with his heart sinking lower and lower.

“My price is Merlin. More specifically, your friendship with Merlin.” Emrys said clearly, his voice stone-solid and age-weary. Arthur’s heart plummeted further, landing heavily somewhere in his sickened stomach. Despite that, the king’s anger stirred to life like a rekindled flame.

“No!” he growled. “Even if I _could_ give that as a price, I wouldn’t!” Arthur forced himself to take a calming breath before he angered the most powerful sorcerer to walk the earth, and then added more diplomatically, “I implore you to ask for something else. Please.”

“I cannot,” Emrys replied as calmly as ever, unmoved by Arthur’s quiet pleading. “If I help you, then you will lose Merlin’s friendship.”

“How does that even make sense?” Arthur demanded, heart pumping faster at the thought. “I cannot bequeath friendship. I cannot suddenly become strangers with a man who’s been at my side for years. How do you expect me to give up a friendship in payment?”

“You will understand if you accept my help,” Emrys answered cryptically, the moving blue-white fog doing little to betray any of the sorcerer’s expression.

Arthur hesitated. Heavens help him, he _hesitated_. As if he would ever consider giving up Merlin!

“Before you answer,” Emrys interrupted, as if hearing Arthur’s thoughts, “Talk to Merlin. Or... at least ask yourself what he would say to you. Are you really willing to give up your kingdom for a single servant?”

“That ‘servant’ is my most trusted friend!” The words spilled off Arthur’s tongue unbidden, but he found no desire to snatch them back. Maybe he’d never said it so explicitly, but Merlin offered wise counsel and unmatched loyalty.

Even if he was also a complete buffoon at the absolute worst times.

“Really?” Emrys sounded surprised by Arthur’s admission, even through his unnaturally echoing voice. Arthur bristled a bit at the implication that servants were of worthless status - and he had Merlin to thank for his own change in attitude about that - but the king decided to remain silent. The great sorcerer paused a moment longer, letting the forest clearing remain silent and still before continuing,

“Interesting,” he mused. “Is even your supposedly trustworthy friend worth the lives of thousands?”

Once more, to his shame, Arthur found himself hesitating. For a king, it was an easy choice: Any sacrifice to help his people. For a man, it was an easy choice: Any sacrifice to help his… Merlin. But as both man and king, Arthur found himself dissolving into internal war.

Tonelessly, as if commenting on the weather, Emrys added, “Merlin would tell you to forget him.”

“Well, Merlin’s an idiot,” Arthur answered reflexively, without much heat behind his words. “He’s worth more than he thinks.”

“He’s not worth Camelot.”

 _He is to me_.

“There must be another way!” Arthur shouted at the forest instead of voicing his selfish thought. He glared fiercely at a nearby tree, unwilling to look at the swirling mass hiding Emrys from his view. “There has to be some other way to restore the balance. There’s some glowing crystal, or magic cave, or odd sorcerer in a maze, or- or a magical creature that can restore magic to Albion instead.”

“There is not,” Emrys replied almost gently.

“Then I will _make_ another way!” Arthur yelled.

“Even the Once and Future King cannot discard his destiny,” Emrys answered with his infinite calm. “You have accepted magic into Camelot. All you have left to do is accept Emrys, and a united Albion will be within your grasp.”

“At such a cost?” Arthur said in a dangerously low voice. “Surely someone as powerful as you _claim_ to be could change the price of-”

“I did not choose this!” Emrys suddenly roared. The wind picked up, leaves crackling as they stirred over the ground, and the blueish magic surrounding Emrys began to pulse and twist angrily.  Arthur stumbled back, one arm raised to shield himself from the sudden onslaught of enchanted gusts.

“Do you think I had any more choice in this supposedly inevitable fate? Do you think I plotted how best to destroy us both? Do you think I had any idea that we would pay so dearly for _destiny’s_ foolish mission?” The soft moonlight left the clearing as the magical mist expanded, raging toward the sky and creeping outward to engulf trembling bushes and swallow entire trees.

“I meant no offence!” Arthur shouted over the wind, and just as the screaming fog was about to consume him as well, the growing storm around them settled unnaturally quickly. The dark, threatening clouds drew back from the moon, and the churning leaves drifted once more to rest. The threatening fog did not entirely dissipate, but drew back to its original size, the churning pulse slowing until the mist flowed serenely around Emrys’s form once more. The clearing seemed eerily still after the sorcerer’s sudden agitation, and the abrupt silence rang loudly in Arthur’s ears.

“My apologies,” Emrys said after a long moment, his distorted voice back in calm control. “This is… This is not easy for me.”

A beat passed. Arthur stepped forward again, back to his original position and closer to the hidden sorcerer as he gathered his courage once more.

“You said that you didn’t have a choice in destiny. So how- _why_ are you giving me one?” Arthur asked when he regained his breath. Outwardly, the king’s blue eyes were narrowed in suspicion, but more predominant in his heart was fear. This whole situation felt terrifyingly out of his control, and he was a mighty king. If a powerful sorcerer also felt this helpless, perhaps there was nothing to be done but the unthinkable, and give up Merlin to save Camelot.

He could barely stand to think it.

“It’s more of a ceremonial choice than a real option. As in, do you want to lose Merlin now, or next year when I ask again, all the while wars rage even more fiercely across the five kingdoms?” Emrys replied dryly, and Arthur’s heart dropped past the last few inches of hope to shatter somewhere around his feet.

“I never want to lose Merlin,” Arthur stated as quietly as possible.

“But you cannot lose the lives of thousands of innocents,” Emrys repeated, and his tone changed to what was nearly pleading, an echo of Arthur’s earlier words. “Please, Arthur. Choose what is right.”

 _What is right is not what I want_ , Arthur thought morosely, then let his head drop into his hands. His righteous decision was made, however much it twisted his gut to betray such a dear friend.

For one of the few times in his life, Arthur fervently wished he was not king. He wished he was not held responsible for the lives of others. He wished he and Merlin… He wished...

Arthur clenched his fists, exhaled, and stopped wishing. No amount of wishes would change this. He must save his people. Merlin, dear, sweet Merlin, would probably grin with pride for Arthur’s bitter betrayal.

And that hurt most of all.

“Yes,” he said finally, to the leaves under his feet. He could not face Emrys’s disembodied fog in his defeat. “Yes. I accept your help and- and your price. But please... Allow me to at least say goodbye to Merlin first?”

Arthur lifted his head, determined to deny the slight wetness of his eyes, when every particle of his being froze at the sudden lack of Emrys’s concealing magic fog. The clear air and cool moonlight revealed a dreadfully familiar figure, and then Arthur was quite sure he had forgotten how to breathe.

“Goodbye, Arthur,” Merlin said quietly, his once-familiar eyes slowly fading back from gold to blue.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, that's that! A good frustrating ending for you. Before you ask, no, I don't plan to write any more, because I personally think the open ambiguity of the scene fits nicely. Any context is left to your own imagination, but I just liked the idea of using the typical arc of 'betrayal -> reestablishment of trust' as the price for Merlin's magic ushering in the Golden Age. That rollercoaster of emotions is indeed a heavy price for both of them.
> 
> I'd be very pleased if you left me a comment! (give me that sweet, sweet validation) ...Seriously, though, I love hearing from readers, whatever you have to say about my work. 
> 
> And as always, thank you for reading!


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